other-side-of-fear-2

RESISTANCE

I recently read a book called, Do the Work, by Steven Pressfield.  This book identifies one word that describes some of the anxious feelings we have when we’re trying to create something new.  The word is RESISTANCE.  In his book, Steven Pressfield identifies RESISTANCE as fear, self-doubt, procrastination, addition, distraction, timidly, ego, narcissism, self-loathing, perfectionism, rational thought, some friends and family.  When we go on the pathway to create our dreams, whatever it is:

  • Losing weight and keeping it off;
  • Exercising consistently;
  • Eating healthy regularly;
  • Starting a business;
  • Changing jobs or careers;
  • Being vulnerable in a relationship;
  • Forgiving others and restoring relationship;
  • Getting married;
  • Moving to another state or country;
  • Moving away from friends and family.

We encounter RESISTANCE to what is in existence in our lives.  It’s how we think, spend our time, our jobs/businesses, what we eat, our activities, our jobs, our friends and family. RESISTANCE is there when we’re trying to create something new.  Why?  Because we have to change some of what is currently in existence to make room for the change.  As long as we strive to create, grow, change or achieve our dreams, it’s going to be there.

What if we mindfully make the choice to turn RESISTANCE into a strength?

What if we saw RESISTANCE as a great sign?  What if we said to ourselves, yeah, I feel RESISTANCE?  This means I’m onto something!  I’m on my way to achieving my dream to lose weight or start a successful business!  What if we got excited about RESISTANCE and let it validate that we are in fact making progress?  What if we saw the ability to overcome it as a strength we want to build?  What if we said to ourselves, I feel RESISTANCE that means I am alive and working towards my dreams?  I’m taking a risk.  I’m in the game of life, taking a chance.  I’m about to experience success if I don’t give up.  Yahoo!

What if we could embrace, accept and work through the corresponding anxiety that comes with change, have FAITH we will overcome?  Would we live any other way?

Try this!  The next time you feel RESISTANCE, give a shout.  Tell yourself, “I’m on my way to achieving my dreams!  I ONLY NEED TO OVERCOME THE RESISTANCE!”  Don’t let it knock you down for good or give up!

  • Rest and regroup if needed;
  • Accept what is, harvest the good and let go of the rest;
  • Learn your lessons, get support and step forward in FAITH.

It’s part of the process and the road to success.

Develop the habit of letting fear and doubt fuel your motivation versus defeat you.  Turn limiting thoughts into affirmations.  I can do it, I will do it, and I am doing it – whatever it is!   Envision your success. Claim your dreams and keep on going.

FAITH is the “Eternal Elixir”

FAITH is like a welcome breeze.  It brings joy back.  Napoleon Hill said, Faith is the “eternal elixir” which gives life, power and action to the impulse of thought! Keep repeating and believing this.  It’s true.  Having a faithful mindset is everything.

Keep on keeping on and believe in yourself!

RESISTANCE means you’re making changes and progressing!  You only need to keep overcoming the RESISTANCE.  Have faith!  If you don’t give up, you will succeed!

More life is on the other side of RESISTANCE.

Napoleon Hill

Pursuing a dream

When one has a dream, unshakable faith and takes actions towards their dream, one can move mountains, one can tear down walls, one can succeed.  This is a true statement from my perspective.

I’ve been reflecting on my life journey and all the challenges I’ve overcome.  One challenge has been handling the anxiety I feel when facing adversity.  Another has been the anxiety that comes up when taking a risk.

The familiar force

In talking with others, I have witnessed there is a familiar force we all encounter when we try to make changes in our lives.  It’s in our thoughts waiting for us when we step forward in faith.  It’s an opposing, oppressive force.  It has names such as fear, self-doubt, procrastination, etc.

What happens when we step forward? 

We may feel excitement.  Then at some point, fear comes, fear that we’ll fail, fear that no one wants what we have to offer, fear that we’re not good enough, fear that we’re crazy, fear that we can’t do what we’ve set out to do so why try and get disappointed, fear of rejection, fear we’ll lose those we love if we don’t stop paying enough attention to them.

When feeling this anxiety, it’s so easy to step back into our familiar thoughts and habits versus pushing forward in courage.  At this point, we may decide we need some encouragement and support from our friends and family.  Depending on who we ask, they may tell us to stop pushing ourselves so hard, relax, come eat a piece of cake, have a drink or let’s go out and have some fun, let’s watch this movie.  In other words, they may encourage us to step back because they see our discomfort.

Our current life is in the way

We ask ourselves, what is this?  My answer is it’s the life we’ve built, all the thought patterns and habits we’ve created and people we are in relationship with up to this point in time.  It’s all we’ve built up to support ourselves just the way we are.

How do we move beyond it?

Take courageous action and move forward despite fear and doubt, despite what our friends and families say or want from us or what we think they want from us.  It’s accepting accountability for the changes we want for ourselves, not blaming others.  It’s understanding that one has to begin to deconstruct some of the elements of their present life to allow the space and time to pursue a new dream.  We cannot do the same things over and over again and get different results.  If we continue in our present thoughts and habits, we’re back to where we are now.  We must change whatever aspects of our lives that are not aligned with the dream we are pursuing.  We may need to change our thoughts, habits, find new friends or a support group to support us.  This is scary and it’s doable.  It only takes 21 days to develop a new habit.

Some new habits to consider

We can work on developing the habit of accepting our thoughts and feelings and calming ourselves down.  We can develop the habit of taking a couple of deep breaths, meditating and experiencing acceptance and peace.  We can pray.  We can join support groups with like-minded people on a similar journey.  We can read biographies about courageous people we admire that overcame obstacles to achieve their dreams.  We can call a friend we admire who has been on a similar journey.  We can hire a coach to help us move forward.  There is a lot we can do.

Success can be reached – one step at a time

We only need to accept accountability for ourselves and work on changing ourselves, one step at a time.  We may have setbacks.  It’s ok.  With each setback, we learn lessons we need to learn about ourselves.  The important thing is to keep trying and not give up.  It’s always at the point that you want to give up that you are about to experience a success.

Coaching

If you are interested in exploring the possibility of hiring a coach to assist you, please reach out to me at valsoto@coachingbyval.net to request more information.